Those are just a few of the delightful creatures in my daughters class at kindergarten. When I was going through the processes of signing my little girl up to go to school, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be entering her into a world of the weird, slightly odd and down-right bizarre habits and traits small children have. Within the first few weeks I watched as a small boy, waiting in line to go in for class, started to lick the outside wall he and his mates were leaning against. He did it slowly, as if every lick was like the best ice-cream he’d ever had. My eyes then wandered further down the line to a another little boy who clearly had a cold; his nose was dripping like a melting icicle…and then he sneezed. The sneeze hit a poor, unfortunate little girl next to him smack in the face…and she laughed. He laughed too, snot and goodness knows what just all over his face. Ugh!! I looked at my little angel-child at the back of the line and thought despairingly, ‘what have I done?’
My family and I have never been so ill as we were that first winter while my daughter was in school! Constant colds, sniffles, sneezing and general grossness engulfed us and we wondered if we would ever be at full health ever again. Mind you, the parents weren’t much help either; ‘hey, your kid is sick and yet here they are in line, coughing their little germy heads off into the mouths of their friends.‘ I know some parents claim to not be able to take time off to look after their kid but in my humble opinion children should be more important than work, you know? There was a time last year when my husband witnessed a child vomiting in the playground at the beginning of the day and rather than take him home, his mother left him at school. She practically ran away from him before his teacher came out. My husband called the school to warn them of the situation, they then apparently called the mother back and told her to take her sick kid home – they were pretty disgusted she would leave him and angry she would put the rest of the class and teachers in such a situation.
Now we are into Senior KG and things are getting ruthless. My daughters immune system is crackerjack strong and we have only had about 3 confirmed sniffles all winter, which is pretty good considering the fact we have had a reeeeeeally long winter. Now we have a new foe to deal with: Snitches, thieves and the power of Hello Kitty. Every generation has their fads and they can change quicker than anything and right now we are heavily into Hello Kitty. Previously it was Disney Princesses and we had to have everything that remotely hinted of pink, princess, sparkles, you name it. Now it’s stickers, sparkles and all things hinting at the little white cat that has as many careers and hobbies as Barbie. My daughter has quite the collection now and every month or so she has her Special Helper Day in which she gets to do Show and Tell. Naturally she will bring her latest HK toy and proudly show it to all in class before placing it back into her backpack for safety. However, while she is doing this there is a very small, 5 year old girl who is watching her with something close to lust and she is trying to figure out the perfect time to quietly snitch the pretty object from within my daughters backpack and stealthily place it within her own backpack. This has happened a few times now. At one point the girl in question tried to physically take something from my daughter while she was showing the teacher. The teacher realized the plot and decided the Hello Kitty would be safest on her desk! A few days ago we were not so lucky; my daughter was walking home with me when all of a sudden she burst into tears, declaring her favourite plush toy had been stolen from her backpack. We knew exactly who had taken it but declined to accuse until the next day when her teacher came to us and gave us the toy in question. Thankfully this delightful girls parents had found the toy and upon interrogation, realized what had happened and returned it the next day. Our suspicions were confirmed and the teacher decided it was time to have a stern talk with the class in general. Now we make sure nothing of any special feeling goes to school! I tells ya, you can’t trust a 5 year old with a serious Hello Kitty obsession.
If this is how things are going down now, what on earth should we expect later on?! These kids are 5-6 years old! I left the best story until last though. My daughters first term was difficult. She got picked on and bullied a lot by a bigger boy in her class. He was not a nice kid and the teachers had a lot of trouble with him. Unfortunately, his background was not a supporting one and his mother was just shy of a complete tramp who clearly didn’t give two whatsits about her son. This was made very clear one afternoon when I walked past the playground and heard him yelling at another little girl, (Warning – offensive language) “F**K YOU, BITCH!” Not long after than he was removed from the class and ultimately left the school altogether. I have to say I felt sorry for him – it wasn’t his fault he was the way he was. Nevertheless, my husband and I taught our daughter to stand up to bullies and she does, for both herself and her friends and she is now one of the most liked kids in class! Pretty cool :)