“Mummy, are you happy?”


Those are the words that are recently leaving my soon-to-be-three years old son’s mouth. I’m not sure what has sparked this off but it happened just after my parents left to fly back to the UK in April. They came to visit us for a week and reconnect with their grand-kids and it was wonderful! So much fun and laughter. Obviously when they left we are all a little sad and that night my son turned to me with his big brown eyes and said, “Mummy, are you happy?”

I was quite taken aback by the question and hastily replied, “Of course I am!” before adding, “I’m sad because Grandma and Grandpa left though.”

“Don’t worry,” my son replied, rubbing my arm affectionately, “It’s Ok. They on an airplane. They has seat belts!”

I had to laugh! He was so re-assuring and confident that his answer would fix my sadness which, I have to say, it did.

A few weeks later and he’s asking me The Question a lot and I don’t have to be upset in order for it to happen. In fact as I write he is sitting next to me playing with my iPad; I just yawned. He asked The Question. He also added, “Are you OK?”  Now I’m paranoid – am I constantly and unconsciously oozing unhappiness or some sort of negative energy?! I don’t think I am but I’m now aware that my son is asking about my happiness quite often and its all quite genuine, but it’s funny when The Question is coming from someone who cries when he has finished his ice cream and his sister won’t let him finish hers! I’m fairly certain it’s all part of growing up because the wonderful site Reasons My Son is Crying helps to reassure us in dark times.

I once, back in my server days, had a lovely family come for dinner to celebrate their sons’ graduation. The mum and I got chatting and the usual subject of kids came up. My son was quite small at that time and I commented on how emotional he was and that he cried a lot.

“Oh, mine did that too when he was younger and he just came out to us a few weeks ago!” she laughed. “We’re meeting his boyfriend tonight for the first time.”

I guess I might have looked a little taken aback because she quickly reassured me my son probably wouldn’t turn out gay just because he cried a lot now and that I shouldn’t be worried about it. I wasn’t, and I won’t, but the answer caught me off guard! Most of the people I spoke to would say, ‘oh that’s normal’ or ‘mine still cries and he’s 14!’

I have no idea how to handle this; I don’t want to tell him to stop asking as I’m sure his concern is real but it feels almost weird being asked such a big question from someone so small! Usually I just reply ,”Yes!” and move on but maybe I should say “No” and see what happens. It’s funny because of all the people to get emotional I would have picked my daughter but I have a sinking suspicion she’s saving that for her teens…

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