An interesting conundrum:
Over the weekend I was sitting having a coffee with a friend when we happened to over-hear a conversation being had by a group of women. It wasn’t difficult not to over-hear them as they were being rather loud and, in my opinion, extremely obnoxious. My friend and I were about to move tables when this little charm of a sentence was uttered:
“I said he couldn’t be his best man because the wedding day is on my birthday and I want a party!”
With raised eyebrows we decided to stay in our seats and pretend not to listen to this enlightening conversation. There were three women in question and they had an air of ‘we-trump-everyone-else-because-we-are-wives’ about them – the scathing look anytime a pretty woman or another man walked past, the loud conversations about how crap their husbands were and how difficult is was to be wives. It was quite something to experience and this subject topped it all off.
One woman in particular was the loudest and she was also responsible for the above statement. The woman next to her was small and twitchy and she didn’t seem to say much but nodded vigorously when either of her friends said something agreeable. The last woman in the group looked almost bored with life in general, her eyes at permanent half mast, legs crossed while leaning as far back into her chair as possible and her voice…dear God! She spoke from the back of her throat making her voice sound gravelly and as if she couldn’t quite muster the air to fully bring out her words. I call it ‘Creaking Door Voice Syndrome’ and it drives me <expletive> nuts!
This is the story, or some of it, from what we heard. Loud Mouth was upset because her husband had been asked to be the best man at his best friends wedding. Let’s just let that sink in: Best Man at his Best Friends wedding. This up and coming wedding just so happened to coincide with Loud Mouth’s birthday and she was upset as she apparently considered her birthday more important than some other persons wedding so had informed her husband he was not allowed to be best man.
“Besides,” she continued, “I want a party and he needs to plan it for me.” She then went on to complain about the bride-to-be and how could she be so selfish by setting her wedding date on Loud Mouth’s birthday. Vigorous Nod went into overdrive and CDV agreeeed.
My friend and I were stunned! How on earth could anyone justify not allowing their other half to be such a big part of such a big occasion? If the shoe was on the other foot you can imagine the storm that would erupt! I couldn’t wrap my head around putting your birthday ahead of someone else’s wedding unless there was a reasonable explanation (e.g. you equally dislike both sides of the couple). Oh, before you ask, no it wasn’t a milestone birthday either.
Not long after the women departed in a flurry of twitching, hand-waving and “BYE DAAAAARLING!” and my friend and I were left to theorize this to death! We decided Loud Mouth was out of line in her demands and might suffer a touch of amour propre. We also wondered if the husband was *cat* whipped as it seemed as though the decision had been made for him that her birthday trumped the wedding and he was agreed to this (unless he had kicked up stink and she was misguided in thinking she could change his mind). Imagine his friends reaction, ‘sorry mate, I can’t be your best man. Prunella wants me to do a birthday party for her on that day.’ Who exactly would he invite? You’d think their circles of friends would over-lap so wouldn’t that cause problems? Was she trying to totally destroy his circle of friends and replace them with hers? Loud Mouth may have potentially damaged a possibly long lived friendship between her husband and his best friend. Or perhaps her husband didn’t really care about being best man and this whole scenario was just convenient for him. Beer time with the guys would be interesting…
“Hey d’ya hear about Duder not being best man?”
“Yeah, his wife is making him stay home and plan her birthday party!” Thanks for making us wives look bad, Lady!
The possibilities were endless and we were at the coffee shop far longer than we should have been! Seriously though, am I out of line thinking Loud Mouth was being a a bit of a cow? If your boyfriend/husband/partner was asked to play a major role in someone else’s wedding which also happened to be your birthday, would you tell them they couldn’t be there and expect it to be accepted? If the birthday was really significant then case closed – a parents 60th birthday for example – but otherwise, unless you booked first there is no reasonable way to accept such behavior, right?